Harvest Dinner for the Family

Harvest Dinner for the Family

Last Thursday was a week before Thanksgiving, and Featherstone home served a sumptuous meal for residents and family. I picked up our daughter Darlene, who lives not too far away in Denton, TX, and we were joined by our nephews Joe Wright and his son Colt. Colt was especially happy to see Carolyn, as he hadn’t seen her in a long time. He even gave her a card telling her he loved her. I think she really liked it.

The meal was wonderful, if a little much. The was turkey, ham, potato salad, dressing, a deviled egg, and a sweet potato, too. Followed by a choice of pumpkin, pecan or apple pie. Not many cleaned their plate, I’m sure. 

About halfway through the meal, Carolyn tried to stand up to leave. I asked her where she was going, and she said home. She has fully accepted that this is her home, and I knew she wanted to go back to her room for some reason, so I asked if she needed to go to the bathroom. She emphatically said no, so I got up also and excused us and led her back to her room.

 She sat on the couch and just stared for a while. I asked what she wanted, and told her I would do what ever I could to make her feel happy. I also asked if she wanted me to bring her food back to the room. After a few seconds, she decided she wanted to go back, and we went in and sat down again.

She ate some more of the meal, but I noticed she had a pained look on her face, and soon she wanted to leave again. I have seen this behavior before and recognized it, finally, as a need for solitude and quiet. Even though she loves having visitors, there were just too many that night. So once again I took her back to her room. We were nearing the end of the meal anyway.

Joe and Colt finished their meals and left to go home, and Darlene came to her mother’s room and we unfolded the couch (futon) and she made up her bed for the night. I kissed and hugged Carolyn and told her I’d be back in the morning, and I went back to the house.

After a good night’s sleep, I returned to Carolyn’s room in the morning, and we loaded Darlene’s baggage in the car for the trip back to Denton. When I got her back to her apartment, she asked if I would fix a flat on her bicycle, so I started to put on the new tire and tube, but they were too small. Besides, the chain was rusted up, and the shifter and brake cables were rusty, too. She let me load the bike up in the car, which fit in the trunk after I folded down the rear seats. I can fix it much easier back home.

I got back in time to visit Carolyn, and take her to a special program by a visiting doctor in the front lobby, who they said would talk on cardiovascular health. The talk was wide ranging, with a lot of good advice on many topics, including diet and exercise, and a special emphasis on vaccinations for older folks, as in flu and shingles shots.

I had to smile when they served us cookies with coffee as he told of the perils of carbs.

I got nervous when he got into the subject of dementia and Alzheimer’s, since I wasn’t sure how Carolyn would react, but she took it all in stride, and I don’t know if she related it to herself or not. The progression he described fit Carolyn to a tee.

 As her memories moved farther back through the years, she went through objecting to her married last name, and being quite upset about it. I told her she could have any last name she wanted on her front door, and asked if her maiden name of Wright would be OK. No, she didn’t want that name either. So steeling myself a little, I asked she wanted to be Carolyn Morse, her first husband. Nope, not that one either. Her name on her door is just Carolyn Ann for now.

For a few weeks she was a shy teenage girl, who didn’t want me to see her undressed, and made me sit in the front while she went to the bathroom. Having nurses on duty was a welcome relief for me.

Now she doesn’t mind me being there at all, which has made it easier for me to help her clean up and change after a slip up, and she just loves when I rub Aspercreme lotion on the rash on her legs. We think it may be a reaction to the antibiotic she was on for congestion and a cough. 

She has become much easier to care for now, and I still delight in making her smile.

All about Bidets

It’s been a busy week. We closed the sale of the ranch in Nevada. As I requested, they sent the check to me here in Oklahoma. I then sent it back to Nevada to my credit union in Reno. 

I worried a little about sending a check that big through the mail, but the lady at the post office assured me that I didn’t need to insure a check, only a money order. She said the bank will honor the check stub if the check got lost in the mail.

It took about five days to show up in the account, and I was beginning to get worried, but the credit union posted it immediately, even though it is unavailable for a week or ten days, so I knew it had arrived OK. I guess they have to notify the IRS, the DEA, and other agencies so they can figure out if I just scored a big drug sale, or am laundering cash, or owe the government money for taxes.

Maybe they just need to move the gold from Winnemucca to Reno!

Carolyn was in a good mood today when I found her out in the lobby. It was about time for her two o’clock meds, and she took them without any complaint at all. I went over to make a cup of coffee, and Carolyn followed me over to the Keurig machine to watch. As she got close, it became quite obvious that we needed to take her back to her room and change underwear. The smell was pretty strong.

As I was walking beck to her room holding her hand, we met Angela in the hall, and she spoke cheerily to Carolyn and asked how she was doing. After a little chit chat, I mentioned we were going back for a change of underwear. 

She sniffed and agreed, and asked if I needed help. I said, “Thanks, but I got this!”

We had no sooner gotten her skirt off in the bathroom, and the Guardian hospice nurse, Mary, knocked on the door. I told her we were just starting to change Carolyn’s drawers, and she said she was there to give her a shower.

I said, “Well, in that case, I’ll hand her over to you.” 

She took over, and I went out to sit on the couch and wait. This was for sure the kind of big stinky mess that needed a shower, not like yesterday, when it was a small stinky mess that I took care of with the bidet.

The thought occurred to me as I sat there that Mary probably didn’t know about the bidet. Not many toilets come with a remote. So when they were finished, I offered to show her how it worked.

She finished getting Carolyn dressed, and I took the remote off the wall and handed it to her. Unless you are sitting on the seat, it takes three hands to operate, because skin contact is needed on the seat before it will go.

I put a hand on the seat where the sensor is located, and put my other hand where your bottom would be if you were sitting there, and had her push the button marked BACK. The little nozzle came out and warm water washed the palm of my hand. She looked a little amazed. I had her push the stop button, and then push the FRONT button. Another nozzle extended out farther forward from the other one, and once again warm water streamed out against my hand. Mary said she wanted one for her home.

I assured her that if you ever have one, you will never go without one again. This is the cheap one, at about $250, but if you want to spend  a hundred dollars more, they come with a blow dryer, too. Totally eliminates using paper at all, but you need to have a little time for the air dryer to do its thing.

I have wondered why all hospital toilets aren’t equipped with bidets, just for the sanitary benefits, and maybe restaurants, too. 

In Japan, where cleanliness is almost an obsession, it is rare to find a toilet without one. I spent a year and a half in Japan, and found they think we are filthy savages, for the most part. They are horrified to think that someone would walk into the house with shoes on, the same shoes that might have stepped in anything out there on the street.

I guess that concludes this ad for bidets. The brand name is Brondell, but there are other brands, too. Costco has them, most hardware stores will order them for you, and amazon.com has them if all else fails. Order one now, and be the first on your block!

Mary dressed Carolyn in a beautiful purple and orange silk blouse, and we walked up to the front to show it off. Leon, the hospice chaplain was there, and some of the other residents and staff. She was feeling pretty proud and happy by then, so I told her, “I’ll be back tomorrow, and don’t forget I love you!”

She was smiling as I left.