Abortion

Abortion

Well, as usual, I got lost in a discussion on abortion again. I got sucked into debating whether life begins at conception or some other time. I know the history, the Bible texts, on and on, ad nauseum. That doesn’t cover what I really feel about abortion at all.

The truth is, I don’t care when life begins.

The truth is, I could meditate on a fertilized ovum in a Petri dish, or in a Fallopian tube, or implanted in a womb, all day long, day after day, and I will never feel a smidgin of empathy, or compassion for that ovum. And I believe it would feel the same about me. 

I don’t have enough imagination to believe that “clump of cells” is a cute chubby little baby, worthy of my concern. I know many claim to believe that, but I think there is more than a little pretense there. 

Several clichés come to mind: straining at a gnat; seeing the mote in another’s eye; counting mint leaves; etc. Jesus said all these were useless, even if perfectly true, because they did not have love. 

I can’t love an ovum, or a blastocyst, or a zygote. I don’t believe anybody honestly can, without a lot of elitist fantasy. I can shed tears over a dog with a hurt paw, or a cat who lost a fight. But I can’t summon even one iota of compassion for a fertilized ovum. To me, the idea that that is a human being borders on pedantic sophistry.

But I can empathize, have compassion for, even love a woman in anguish and pain. Even if it’s her own fault. Who among us can claim to have never done the same?

I could lead her into a clinic to have an abortion, even at the risk of violence from “fine Christian” people lining the sidewalk. I could easily drive her across the state line for an abortion, even risking years of jail time. Because of love for another human being. Not a fetus.

I have no time for moral judgement. Neither did Jesus. Millions of people, (mostly women) were stoned to death for adultery. Jesus showed love and compassion, not moral judgement. 

The apostle Paul continued Jesus’ message of love. He vehemently argued with James about it. He got up in Peter’s face about it, and called him a hypocrite for it. What was it? Keeping the law and ignoring the need for love.  

This is what Paul said, “Owe no man anything, but to love one another; for he that loves another has fulfilled the law.” “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” “Love does no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as noisy brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” “Though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I could move mountains, and have not love, i am nothing.” “Though I give away all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profits me nothing.” “Now remains faith, hope, and love—these three. But the greatest of these is love.”

I believe God is love. I believe God dwells within me, not out there in the sky somewhere. I must allow love to grow in my heart and crowd out the judgement that comes so naturally to the human mind. It is my life’s work, and it coincides with my Buddhist beliefs in the oneness of all humanity.

Just love everybody, and quit worrying about the small stuff.

First Mother's Day alone.

Today is the day I've been waiting for all week long. This week has been thunderstorms, tornados, flash floods, and not much sunshine. We had to relight the pilot lights on the furnaces in the house, because we had a couple of cold nights. Did I mention it rained all week?

I woke up early this morning. I had been thinking about Mother's Day the night before, and I wanted to put some flowers on Carolyn's grave. No, she was not my mother, but she was the mother of my children, and I still miss her terribly. This is my first Mother's Day alone.

I have been attending a church in Denison, Texas, for over a month now, and I'm getting to know some of the people, I'm learning more about their values and beliefs, and they are learning some about me. One woman asked me today which religion I was raised in, and I told her I was raised Seventh-day Adventist until I was eighteen, and then I quit that one and by the time I was drafted into the Army I had agnostic embossed on my dog tag. I told her while I was stationed on Okinawa I studied Buddhism at a temple there, and have considered myself Buddhist since that time.

She laughed and told me I would fit right in. The church is the Red River Unitarian/Universalist church. This is from the church bulletin:

"We are people from many backgrounds who have different beliefs, but shared values...We are Unitarian Universalists, and at the same time we may also be agnostic, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, humanist, Jewish, Muslim, pagan, atheist, believers in God, and those who just let the great mystery be."

I think I will fit right in. I asked them last week if I could join, and today they had me sign the membership book. Next week will be a simple induction ceremony with an introduction to the congregation.

The church asked everyone to bring a flower to the service this morning, so as I was buying flowers for Carolyn's grave, I kept one out for later. The rest of the flowers looked good by her grave. I buried a vase there last year, and I was sure it would be filled with water. Did I say it has been raining all week?

When I got to church with my one red carnation, I found that they have a traditional ceremony on Mother's Day, where in each person, one at a time, goes to the center of the room and puts his flower into a large vase. When all have given their flower, a short homily was given on "The Secret of the Garden" and then we all, one at a time, go to the vase and extract one flower, but not the one you brought.

When the Flower Communion is over, we all have given a flower, and we all have received a flower.

I put in a red carnation, and I received a red rose. I took it to my sister-in-law Wilma, and she added it to a bouquet they were building at home for Mother's Day.

Since the weather is sunny and beautiful today, when I got home I changed clothes and rode my bicycle to Caddo and back. Next weekend is the Magnolia Tour, and I am far from ready.

The roadside are resplendent in all colors of wildflowers this year. Maybe all the rain? The Indian Paintbrush came up first, then the Bluebonnets down by the Red River. They are now fading, to be replaced by millions of buttercups and daisies, and some stunning blue tubular flowers that look a little like foxgloves. I don't know if there is a wild variety of those or not.

A couple of weeks ago I had been planning to drive my GMC motorhome down to a rally of like RVs down in Abilene, Texas. When I looked at the weather prognosis, I called and cancelled. In good weather I would have chanced it, but I really don't like repairing an old vehicle beside the road in the rain. I know there is a small coolant leak somewhere. Until I chase that one down and fix it, I'm staying pretty close to home.

I moved my Allis-Chalmers tractor into the garage next to the house, and have been taking it apart for cleaning and repainting. It's a 1949 Model G that I converted to electric drive four years ago, and I've been encouraged by the local Antique Tractor Club to come on out and drive it in the parade on the 30th for Memorial Day celebrations.

Monday morning I go to the dentist's office for impressions of my implants so they can make a bridge. I will be so glad to get rid of this partial plate that no longer even fits because of the protruding implants. Monday evening I will go to the UU church to help with the garden. It's actually going to be a Monarch butterfly way station when we get it finished.

Just to fill in the empty days, I went to my primary care physician last week and got the good news the my blood pressure is wonderful at 122/76, my cholesterol is 140, my heart and lungs are working great, and best of all at 75 I take no medications for anything now. For many years I had to take immunosuppressants to keep my Ulcerative Colitis in check, but evidently as I aged my immune system is suppressing itself now. I am in complete remission.

But I didn't get off scot free. The doctor gave me some Kegel exercises to help with my prostate problem. Like most old men, I have something in common with basketball players. I dribble before I shoot. And he scheduled me for a colonoscopy next week, since I haven't had one in about five years.

My life hasn't been boring. I almost don't have enough days to get done all I have scheduled to do. But that is good. Busy keeps the mind from brooding on dark thoughts, and reduces the crying time considerably.

Life is what you make it, and I'm keeping busy.