Hugh Hefner died

Rich Higbee It was invented to keep the poor in line for the rich.

Andrew Arvans LOL Well I don't know about that Rich. I think a better way to describe it would be how Mark Twain said it. But yours does have some truth. But where ever this creep is I'm sure it isn't what he is used to.

Rich Higbee Twain is correct. Hef was a great man definitely not a creep

Andrew Arvans The worst kind of creep.

Donald Rogers I credit Hefner and Playboy for changing me from a self-righteous ignorant religious know nothing into someone my wife could love for 48 years. I learned how to love a woman from reading Playboy.

Andrew Arvans My problem with him is I don't believe an 80 year old man should be sleeping with 18 year old girls. It runs along the lines of pedophilia. My thoughts of his publications for his corporations is not the problem. Him sleeping with the young employees to move up and get special treatment throws the whole "treat woman equal" from the 60s movement backwards. I feel it sends the message to younger woman that this is the way to get ahead in life. The bottom line is in my way of thinking that if a man is having sex with a woman 60 years younger than him...he is a pervert.

Donald Rogers Where would you put the cutoff age? 18 is legal in most states, and it's the woman's choice, as far as I can tell. I personally would like to have seen more commitment and depth to his relationships, but I think that about most people I know.

Andrew Arvans Well lets go in order here. First what the hell does a cut off age really mean; in your way off thinking as per your comment is what is legal. This is what you based your reasoning on. So if it is only by law, then any age is okay if the law says so. I hope you can see something wrong with that. Second you mentioned "it's the woman choice"; think about that...I have always heard it's a 30 year old woman's choice, or it's an 18 year old girls girls choice. So where do you put the cut off? He is dead so now his only commitment is to the Devil.

Debbie Kern Andrew Arvans He used men as well as women. He preached that a guy could/would get laid (any time he wanted) as long as he had the right (expensive) car, stereo system, house/apartment...the right clothes or the right pick up line. He gave the impression that women were stupid and could and should be lured into having sex. He lured women with money and allowed many to live in his mansion. He has a long list of women that he's "had a relationship" with.

Debbie Kern One of the women he used was recently on the tv show Catfish. She had been reduced to making her living as a stripper.

Debbie Kern If he had any last words for any men who idolized/liked him... I think those words would be "BOOM"!!!! GOT'CHA"!!!!!!!

Andrew Arvans You said it well Debbie. He was a man who was absolutely the term of a male chauvinistic pig. He thought woman were a mans play thing. Funny thing I see a lot of Democrats on here showing their respects. He was what they claim to hate.

Andrew Arvans He ruined a lot of lives while helping a very few. Young girls with drugs and fast lifestyle think it is forever. After they are used and dumped they do what they have to.

Debbie Kern The only thing he proved about himself is that he was a user of both men and women, and that he was sooo screwed up that he couldn't maintain a healthy relationship with anyone.

Donald Rogers Lots of good arguments here by both of you, but mostly against a straw man. Yes, he did use some women. Others he made executives of his business, including his daughter as CEO for the last twenty years or so. Some women used him and his magazine to become rich and famous.

Donald Rogers As for the arguments on the age of consent, or what is possible to legislate, I don't have a clue. Jerry Lee Lewis was criticized for marrying his 13 year old cousin, legal with parents consent then. Is it the spread we should be concerned with? If 80 with an eighteen year old is too much, how about 60 with 20? What if it's the woman who is older? How about that teacher who became pregnant with a 12 year old student, was jailed for several years, and then when she got out, they got married and had more kids. I don't have any answers for you. But I know better than to think I can tell other adults what they can and cannot do.

Andrew Arvans That is part of any business. I'm just glad he didn't start out as a daycare provider, he would be cuddling all the 4 year old's to sleep. He was creepy! I did a non biased and factual essay on him for a writing class, and at the end was shocked at this man.

Donald Rogers The bottom line for me is that he created a revolution of sexual mores in the world. I think for the better. Before him, most men had no idea that there was anything more to sex than what they learned in the barnyard. Many, if not most women had never heard of an orgasm, let alone experienced one. He expounded eloquently the idea that a real man made sure his woman enjoyed the experience at least as much as he did. If more people broke up their loveless marriages after the sexual revolution, many more found happiness and pleasure in their marriage. My wife made sure that my subscription to Playboy never expired.

Debbie Kern Maybe there are some men who need porn...hard or soft....to "perform"

Donald Rogers Possible, but I wouldn't know. I'm 74, and haven't had that problem. I also know that my "perfomance" is not totally reliant on just one part of me.

Andrew Arvans Goes way beyond that for this one.

Donald Rogers Ya'll are making me feel young again! I haven't enjoyed a discussion on this topic since Sharron Angle and I had an editorial page discussion in the Winnemucca newspaper on her marching from video store to video store trying to make them stop renting soft-core porn, even to married couples.

Andrew Arvans 

"Thumb up" Facebook emoji.

The Memories Are All Mine Now

Sept. 20. 2017

The Memories Are All Mine Now

What a weekend! I drove down to Austin, TX, to lead my granddaughter down the aisle as she and Rob Cooperman got married. I stopped in Denton on the way down and picked up her mother, and we stayed at Rob and Melissa’s house in Round Rock, TX. 

Darlene and I got lost trying to find the rehearsal dinner on Friday night, but it worked out well, because my brother John called us from south of Austin needing instructions to get to the house. There was no way I could give him oral instructions to find the house, so I drove down to a large mall and parked there, after having him drive north on I-35 and exit on ramp 250 right next to the mall. We found each other near the big Target store, and I led him through the myriad turns to get to the house.

Texas does not believe in planning, so far worse than most places, many streets end up in dead ends or cul-de-sacs, many housing areas are isolated from neighboring projects so that you must get out the same way you came in. Twice while in the area I was shunted onto a toll highway, even though I was trying my best to stay off those. Sometimes the frontage road just ends in a ramp to the highway and there’s no turning back.

But the wedding went fine on Saturday—one of the most beautiful and emotional weddings I have ever attended. It may have been that it was a Jewish wedding, I don’t know. But it seemed to me that the emphasis was on the joy and fun of the marriage, and less of the seriousness and solemnity of the occasion, as with so many weddings. 

I always wondered why they stomped a wine glass at Jewish weddings. They explained it during the ceremony as demonstrating that if both partners work together, they can overcome any obstacle. Melissa put her foot on the stem of the glass to hold it steady while Rob stomped the cup to smash it. They were great! What a team!

Afterward everybody ate, drank and danced to the music, Some provided by a deejay and some live music by Rob Cooperman and his band. There was a lot of joyous noise and loud celebration until about 10:00 PM, when a sheriff’s deputy showed up to ask us to tone it down—some neighbors were complaining.

We left Austin to go home the next morning. I dropped Darlene off at her home in Denton, then drove on back to Durant, OK. Before I went to my place, I stopped in at Featherstone to see Carolyn. I told her how much I missed her and wished for her during the wedding. 

The next day I came back to visit her and show her pictures of the wedding on my Facebook page. She didn’t say much, and I couldn’t tell if she recognized any of the people there or not. She cried a couple of times (so did I) and we hugged each other for a long time before I left.

The next day I found out that she had a really bad night, very agitated and screaming at the nurses, and could not be calmed down for a long time. Then, totally exhausted, she slept as if she was drugged all day. She missed a couple of meals because she could not be aroused. 

I came back that evening, and I was able to get her awake, and even walk with her around the building twice. I told the nurse I had left her sitting on the couch in her room, and she offered to take her a sandwich. I love the staff at Featherstone!

This morning I talked to Rachel, the manager, about Carolyn’s deterioration, (actually she did most of the talking) and got some much needed advice. She thinks the pictures and stories of the wedding may have upset Carolyn because even if her memory doesn’t allow her to recognize what is happening, she may know that she should remember, and that would be really frustrating and maddening.

So even though I carefully try never to ask her to remember, knowing that leads to anxiety, I am going to have to be even more careful about sharing events and happenings I am involved in. 

That is hard! For forty eight years our primary goal in marriage was to find ways to make our partner happy. We searched for things we could do together, from square dancing, hiking in the mountains, bicycling for miles, traveling all over the country to family reunions and other events. I thought the memories of those fun times would last forever. In our old age, we could talk about and relive the wonderful times we had. 

It’s not to be. As Rachel pointed out, we are continually mourning the loss of our lover, even though she is still alive. What a terrible struggle!

The memories are all mine now.