Things are happening so fast that this report on Carolyn’s condition is becoming a daily log.
This morning when I came in to see her, she was sleeping soundly in bed. It looked like there wasn’t much of a story to tell today. I went out in the hall to talk to the nurse on duty. She is working a sixteen hour shift this Sunday. That ugly sore throat and cough crud is going around. The staff is spread pretty thin this weekend.
When I asked about Carolyn’s morning, the nurse gave me kind of a wry smile and said, “I got her up for breakfast, and she ate it like she was hungry. I put her back to bed and took care of some other residents, and when I went back in her room in a few minutes to check on her, she was gone.”
“Her wheelchair was still there, so I checked the bathroom and hall, and she was nowhere to be seen. I called the other staff on duty, and when I told them I couldn’t find Carolyn, they told me she was sitting up front in the lobby!”
Last week she fell and broke her pelvis. This week she is hobbling, limping, shuffling her way halfway around the building to sit out front.
I know that has to hurt, but I don’t know how much. I just know that when she makes up her mind to do it, she does it. No complaining, no whining, no crying—she just gets up and does it. I’m the one who is crying. See why I love her?
I stayed with her the rest of the morning, to make sure she doesn’t get up again and hurt herself. I notice she has a new bruise near her right eye. I suspect she fell somewhere on her journey this morning, but she isn’t admitting to anything.
I am going to stay here with her for a few days to increase the surveillance coverage. She needs constant supervision, I think.
I am also going to try to teach her the art of traveling in a wheelchair. If I can get her to stay in the wheelchair and move herself around that way, she will reduce her chances of falling, and surely cut down on the pain.
I wish there was some way to restrain her in the wheelchair. But that is illegal. The reason is that they are not prisoners, so they don’t deserve being confined or restrained. I am baffled. Are these the same liberal thinkers that decided to levy fines on everybody for not buckling up when driving? I’m more liberal than most Democrats I know—way more liberal than any Clinton—but this is effete liberal irrationality at its worst. Sure they don’t deserve to be restrained, so we will just allow them to fall and freely break their hip and die. Let’s just let old feeble people fall and kill themselves, but for sure let’s punish young healthy people in cars for not buckling up.
Rant over, until the next one.
I put her in the wheelchair and took her to the dining room for lunch. I wheeled her to a place at the table, and then I went back to her room to relax for a few minutes. In just a couple of minutes I hear, “Carolyn, what are you doing?”
I jumped up to see what’s happening, and I see Carolyn standing near the kitchen entrance, two tables away from where I left her sitting. She decided to get something to drink, so she just rolled back, stood up and started walking over to get a drink. I caught her and took both hands in mine, and walked backwards, leading her back to her table. I got her seated again, and pulled up a chair next to her, to keep an eye on her. There was only one server for all the people in the dining room, and they can’t sit guard on Carolyn and serve the others, too.
After lunch she slept for an hour or so, and then she tried to get up out of bed again. I put her in the wheelchair and asked where she wanted to go. She didn’t know. That makes it hard on me. I think this may be karma for all those times she asked me, “What do you want for supper?” and I said, “I don’t know. Whatever.” Now I understand how unsatisfactory that answer is.
So I took her out in the hall and showed her how to put her hands on the wheels rather than the armrests and push the wheels around to move the chair. She was doing pretty good for about 15 minutes. But an hour later she forgot. This lesson is going to take a lot of reinforcement.
I’m going to stay with her for the night and try to keep her from walking anywhere. She is not accepting the oversight with grace. She is snapping at me with hostility in her voice when I tell her to sit back down. All the explanations about trying to keep her from hurting herself are completely lost somewhere. I am trying hard to convince her that the pain she suffers when she walks is telling her she shouldn’t be walking. Reasoning doesn’t work at all anymore, though.
She is sleeping now, I think. In a couple of hours she gets her medications, which should keep her sleeping for the night.
I’m guarding the door. Almost afraid to close my eyes.
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